I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
