i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
