you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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