dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
