i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
