He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
