Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
