watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
where does the pee come out of this thing
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
