i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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