Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
