he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
