Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry shellaphant hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

Fav 37 1353 2730
share tweet
(219): View more from Indiana

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

Fav 15 6049 1185
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart

Fav 17 8043 852
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world

Fav 24 1086 5504
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"

Fav 23 9338 1315
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.

Fav 13 3665 1620
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

Fav 20 6767 1480
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

Fav 2 693 564
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.

Fav 0 10 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT