Apparently you make a good broom.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
