He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
