hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
