how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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