I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
