Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
