Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize