it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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