So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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