I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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