i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
