For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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