miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want to make out with him forever
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
