I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
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Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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