I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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