You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
