remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize