Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
