My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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