I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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