the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
