No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
