It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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