Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
