Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
