the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cockslap morals
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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