Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
