We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
