I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
