her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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