I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I woke up under a house in Key West
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
