i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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