we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
