I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
