I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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