OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
