Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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