areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My penis needs a shock collar
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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