They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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