please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
