jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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