Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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