Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
