Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
