He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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