Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize