I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
