Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
