i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
