I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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