I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
